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How I met your Father
Jan. 26th, 2025 10:27 pmfandom: The Witcher
ship: Emhyr/Geralt
rating: mature
Geralt and Emhyr explain to Ciri how they started to... play Gwent. (They are not playing Gwent.)
Under the cut are 2,402 words, some of them more true than others:
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Eyes wide smut
Jan. 26th, 2025 08:30 pmFandom: The Witcher
Ship: Emhyr/Geralt
Rating: explicit
The anonymous public sex at a masquerade Cinderella fic.
Nilfgaardians now throw masquerades - they must be orgies, right?
Geralt and Emhyr are masked and costumed and don't know who the other person is, respectively.
There are 8890 words masked by the following cut:
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Oh so quiet
Jan. 26th, 2025 07:10 pm
Fandom: The Witcher
Ship: Emhyr/Geralt
Rating: mature
Geralt accidentally got himself cursed: he can't speak anymore to anyone who loves him.
It's obvious where this - yet another Emhyr/Geralt story - is going to end; I'm in it for the details in between. Has LOL (lots of Lambert).
I'm experimenting with a less linear narrative style with flashbacks - I hope to make things more interesting and mysterious by that.
If I'll fail it will be more WTF.
There are 11,846 words, made quiet by the following cut:
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Fandom: The Witcher
Ship: Geralt/Emhyr
Rating: teen+ (some genre typical violence)
This is an Emralt advent calendar (but it counts to the 21st, Midwinter).
One chapter each day, in real life and in the fic.
The doors: It's an advent calendar so it has doors. Any deep symbolic meaning behind what they look like is completely accidental! :D
Also I don't intend anyone to take the backdoors in this fic, the "Mature" is mainly for some violence.
There's 12496 words in 21 chapters under the cut; may contain traces of nuts.
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Under the Table
Jan. 25th, 2025 06:15 pmFandom: The Witcher
Ship: Emhyr/Geralt
Rating: general audiences, it's all in Morvran's head
The usual fanfic situation: Morvran is giving his report while Geralt is under Emhyr's table.
But the one in the game - it's surprisingly flimsy with an open leg space, very different from how we all have been redecorating that room.
410 words squeezed underneath the cut
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Fandom: The Witcher
Ship: Emhyr/Geralt
Rating: explicit (but you'll get cockblocked by the desk)
King Carlo Alberto of Sardinia had a whimsical monstrosity of a desk. You can see it in the video. Do watch it. If you think my descriptions are exaggerated - they are not.
I had to imagine it to be Emhyr's desk and the things that would happen with, on and under it.
1400 words will jump out from the hidden compartment underneath if you press on this whittled ornamentation saying "read more":
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Truth or Dare
Jan. 25th, 2025 05:12 pm
Fandom: The Witcher
Ship: Emhyr/Geralt
Rating: Teen+ (IDK there's a dead hand in there so don't read it to a baby maybe)
Emhyr has a truth spell ring.
Ciri finds this morally despicable.
Geralt agrees to help her with a heist to steal it from Emhyr's vault.
Ciri also wears a cat-suit, does laser beam acrobatics and saves Mererid.
1600 words will stab you in the eyes if you trigger the secret mechanism (that cut)
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Boxed/Unwrapped/Misethere Deorum
Jan. 25th, 2025 04:46 pm
Boxed/Unwrapped/Misethere Deorum
Fandom: The Witcher
Ship: Emhyr/Geralt
Rating: explicit and awkward
Geralt and Emhyr wake up in a coffin like box, tied up together. This starts something they pursue very clumsily. (This started out only with "Boxed" and then the other chapters emerged - so it's 3 fics in a series on Ao3.)
4300 words under the cut, 4300 words
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Spelling it out
Jan. 24th, 2025 11:01 pm
Fandom: The Witcher
Ship: Geralt/Emhyr
Rating: mature
Emhyr treats himself to a sweet autocorrect spell to avoid making mistakes when writing important documents. Autocorrect has its issues.
1000 words delivered directly into your face for your convenience - after the cut:
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Fandom: The Witcher
Ship: Emhyr/Geralt
Rating: Teen+
A Tumblr meme gave me brain worms: "You are trapped in an elevator with the person on your lockscreen."
So here's the (tweet-)fic "Stuck in an elevator with Emhyr et al" aka "the clown car" - it's not a cringy self-insert, I promise.
This used to be a tweet fic and has only 708 words under the cut
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Tails of Iron, Whiskers of Love
Jan. 24th, 2025 10:28 pm
Fandom: uh - "fandom"? Well it's about the game Tails of Iron
Ship: King Redgi/Robin the Ranger
Rating: general audiences although the game is a bit brutal
The social media person of OddBugStudio is very busy on Twitter and answered with 👀👀👀 to my joke "the game says Redgi and the ranger make a good team, I'll have to check that out on Ao3".
I didn't find any existing fan fiction for the game so - I had to write it.
only 577 words under this cut
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La La Wheee!
Jan. 24th, 2025 10:13 pm
Fandom: The Witcher
Ship: Geralt/Emhyr
Rating: Teens+
🚬 😏 "Imagine, if you will, an emperor who's just had a cup of tea..."
Emhyr has been drugged with psychedelic mushrooms, the world becomes surreal but he's also able to see and somewhat manipulate Chaos.
4000 words will spill out when you click the cut:
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Jane Eyre and Wyverns
Jan. 24th, 2025 10:44 am
Fandom: The Witcher
Ship: Emhyr/Geralt
Rating: mature (has not quite explicit smut)
In which I rip off riff off Jane Eyre. You absolutely don't have to know Jane Eyre. Emhyr does NOT get permanently injured.
> 17000 words will explode into your timeline if you click here:
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Fandom: The Witcher
Ship: Emhyr/Geralt
Rating: mature; it's smut but not explicit
This picture made the rounds on the internet. I posted it on the server as "inspiration" for the artists and was then told to WRITE about it - ok!
Geralt and Emhyr doing yoga on an ottoman.
(Artistic freedom: I wrote that Geralt's foot has an arch even though we know his feet are flat and archless.)
This fic is short, no word explosion under the cut.
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Petty Theft
Jan. 22nd, 2025 05:07 pmFandom: The Witcher
Ship: Emhyr/Geralt
Rating: general audiences
Some things we don't get to see when we play the game and how Geralt steals stuff from Emhyr's office even in the cut scene.
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Fandom: The Witcher
Ship: Geralt/Emhyr
Rating: mature, not quite explicit
Oh no, Emhyr gets hit by an arrow in an embarrassing place and only Geralt is there to help.
I'm extrapolating on witcher mutations, adding Steven Universe saliva healing powers.
