antimonyschnuck

fandom: The Witcher
ship: Emhyr/Geralt
rating: mature

Geralt and Emhyr explain to Ciri how they started to... play Gwent. (They are not playing Gwent.)

Under the cut are 2,402 words, some of them more true than others:

fandom: The Witcher - ship: n/a - rating: general audiences

The path is wherever a witcher goes.

Only 246 words of mini fic for the prompt "path":

 

On the Path

The noise was horrible; like someone had put a crow in a tin box. Who would even do such a thing? Not Geralt. It had to be something else. It came from his saddlebags. Oh, the xenovox. “Hello?”

“Geralt? The fuck have you been doing? I’ve tried this before and there was no answer!”

“Uh. Lambert?”

“No, this is Hern, the god of the hunt,” Lambert answered. “Of course it’s me. Why didn’t you answer before?”

Geralt sighed. “Have you heard of ‘being on the path’? Sometimes I spend some pleasant hours in a cave while all my stuff is with Roach. Sometimes I fight and can’t ask those neckers nicely for a break because my horse is ringing.”

“Yeah, yeah. Where are you? There’s a bit of a situation and we could need a hand.”

Geralt made a vague noise. “On the path?”

There was a few seconds of silence before the xenovox replied. “And which part of the path is that, roughly? Temeria? Kaedwen? Where can Keira pick you up?”

“Pfffffkchhhhkrrr,” Geralt said into the little apparatus.

“What?” Lambert yelled into his end.

“Whoosh,” made Keira’s portal behind Geralt. She emerged, looked around, cackled and also shouted into Geralt’s xenovox: “You won’t believe this, Lamb, he’s at Nilfgaard palace. No neckers anywhere – but he’s got a really nice bed.”

The little tin box made more horrible noises, vaguely identifiable as Lambert laughing.

“Some parts of the path are nicer than others,” Geralt explained sullenly.

fandom: The Witcher - ship: none - rating: general

Geralt is working a monster contract - must be Tuesday (case fic)

715 words, you can only see them if you click here:

Fandom: The Witcher

Ship: Emhyr/Geralt

Rating: mature

Geralt accidentally got himself cursed: he can't speak anymore to anyone who loves him.

It's obvious where this - yet another Emhyr/Geralt story - is going to end; I'm in it for the details in between. Has LOL (lots of Lambert).

I'm experimenting with a less linear narrative style with flashbacks - I hope to make things more interesting and mysterious by that.
If I'll fail it will be more WTF.

There are 11,846 words, made quiet by the following cut:

Fandom: The Witcher

Ship: -

Rating: general audiences

funny Tweet fic

105 words making fun of Dandelion, uncut because tweet fic:

Hands

The creature was grotesque in a way that you wanted to laugh about it even while being shock stricken and absolutely sympathetic.

"Can you move them?" Geralt asked, his voice raspy from the effort to keep it even.

One of the hands on Dandelion's head made an obscene gesture.

After that they looked again like flesh-coloured antlers. Or a pink Nilfgaardian helmet.

"Well, you could try to play two instruments at once now." Geralt's voice trembled.
"Want me to track Philippa down or nah?"

"What do YOU think, yes! I'm sorry! I didn't know it was her great-great-whatnot-niece, ok?"

"Well, on the one hand-"

"OUT!"

Fandom: The Witcher

Ship: Emhyr/Geralt

Rating: general audiences, it's all in Morvran's head

The usual fanfic situation: Morvran is giving his report while Geralt is under Emhyr's table.

But the one in the game - it's surprisingly flimsy with an open leg space, very different from how we all have been redecorating that room.

410 words squeezed underneath the cut

Fandom: The Witcher

Ship: Emhyr/Geralt

Rating: explicit (but you'll get cockblocked by the desk)

King Carlo Alberto of Sardinia had a whimsical monstrosity of a desk. You can see it in the video. Do watch it. If you think my descriptions are exaggerated - they are not.

I had to imagine it to be Emhyr's desk and the things that would happen with, on and under it.

1400 words will jump out from the hidden compartment underneath if you press on this whittled ornamentation saying "read more":

Boxed/Unwrapped/Misethere Deorum

Fandom: The Witcher

Ship: Emhyr/Geralt

Rating: explicit and awkward

Geralt and Emhyr wake up in a coffin like box, tied up together. This starts something they pursue very clumsily. (This started out only with "Boxed" and then the other chapters emerged - so it's 3 fics in a series on Ao3.)

4300 words under the cut, 4300 words